Over on Facebook recently a friend of mine posted this meme/image about rape culture:
Pretty uncontroversial stuff in my opinion. But then again, I vote for the Greens and believe the world is ending due to human reliance on fossil fuels. Feel free to stop reading/troll me in the comments.
I read my friend’s post and the image attached, had a think and a laugh at the absurdity of reality, and then went to the comments:
It’s all pretty good, but the real head fuck is buried under that “see more” link:
Hold on, it keeps going:
Our rape apologist, we’ll call him Geeves, ends with this:
BAM! Argument over! Men are the victims!
By this point I’d had a good laugh. Someone else was responding to Geeves telling him how much of a fuckwit he was and implying he must be a rapist, so I left it at that and went to bed.
But when I woke up this morning, I was still thinking about the ridiculousness of Geeves’ arguments and how illogical and fucking moronic they were. I decided to reply myself.
Now I was really tempted to go in guns blazing and just insult the fuck out of Geeves and try make him feel like the idiot I already thought he was, but my more rational and friendly public persona prevailed. I went for logic. Here’s my reply in full. It was posted on Facebook, but I’ve put the words here for easy reading:
I’m going to reply and breakdown where I see problems with your arguments. I’ll use your same numbering system, and put sub-points in where I think there are multiple arguments or points to be made within your one argument. After your fifth point it gets a little harder to track, but I’ll do my best to keep it linear and in the same order as your arguments.
- No one said a female, male or otherwise gender non-specific person can get wasted, or do anything, without concern for their own actions. That’s actually the crux of what the fight against rape culture is about; making people responsible for their actions, not someone else’s.
- Your point regarding someone getting into a car and killing a family doesn’t support your own argument; in this scenario the driver is directly responsible. In a scenario where someone gets drunk and is raped, the victim is responsible for getting drunk and the rapist is responsible for the rape.
- No one said people shouldn’t take precautions for their own safety. People take precautions constantly; ask any woman or minority group the last time they felt unsafe and acted to ease their fear and I’ll bet you hear stories about them crossing the street to avoid large groups of men, not holding their partner’s hand in public, deciding not to wear a religious garment. As you said, men do this too in deciding how to make their way home late at night.
- Just because someone can take precautions to mitigate risks of something happening to them does not make them responsible, even partially, if that something does happen, whether or not they tried to mitigate the risk. I’m talking about the actions of others here, and not risks which are self-evidently preventable like drink driving or unsafe sex.
- As you said, this doesn’t even apply in many cases of rape. According to this study, about half of all rapes ocurr when the victim was not drinking alcohol https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-1/43-51.htm
- Tango is not rape, just as sex is not rape. Rape takes one person, the rapist (extrapolate for gang rape)
- The stats on falsely reported rapes are highly over exaggerated. This study finds it might be between 2% and 10%, but cautions that these stastics may be unreliable depending on your definition of false reporting, which can range from straight out lying, to not cooperating with the police investigation, to not meeting the legal burden to prove rape http://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/Publications_NSVRC_Overview_False-Reporting.pdf.
- The argument about self control again affirms that it is the responsibility of the rapist, not the victim, to exercise said self control. The victim can’t do it for them.
- Flirting or engaging in some physical acts, or even starting a sexual act and then trying to stop it, is not justification for rape.
- See above re self-control
- Most rapes occur between social or family groups, so your argument about getting into a situation with a person you don’t know well enough is usually invalid – only 7% were strangers to the victim according to RAINN https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence
- Questions should be asked to establish what happened. If your question suggests flirting, kissing, touching or sexual acts in some way justify your being raped, your questions are wrong.
- Alcohol is definitely a factor in rape, and in other crimes. It’s about 50% across the board.
- See above re false reporting: between 2% and 10%, however that may be too high.
- Whether the male or female is drunk is irrelevant, the person doing the raping is always responsible for the raping.
- Yes we are animals. Many animals eat their young, shit on the ground, lick themselves instead of showering and sleep on the grass. We don’t.
- The turn-ons of men and women aren’t as simple or partisan as that. The genders are much more similar than they are different, it’s our socialisation that accounts for many of our differences in behaviour.
- Regardless, even if what you’re saying is true (it’s not) it doesn’t justify rape. See above re personal responsibility.
- What’s wrong with people telling women how to dress, act and drink is:
- It’s none of their business
- It won’t stop or prevent rape anyway
- See above re personal responsibility.
- People attracted to men feel attracted to men, it doesn’t mean they are going to rape them just because they’re wearing no shirt. Just as wearing a bikini shouldn’t equal rape from a man.
- People should police their own behaviour and instincts. That’s the point we argue when we argue against rape culture.
- If someone has uncontrollable desires to touch or rape others, that’s their issue and they need help.
- If someone can’t stop themselves when someone else says no, that’s their issue and they need help.
- The idea that drug addiction or theft is equivalent to rape is bizarre in the extreme.
- Rape: one or more people, usually males, forcing sex acts on another person without consent.
- Drug addiction: the uncontrollable use of one or more physiologically effective substances, usually defined as resulting in detrimental outcomes for health, social and or financial indicators.
- Theft: the illegal taking of money or property.
- If men can’t be taught not to rape, lock up all men and let everyone else get on with their lives in peace.
- See above re personal responsibility
So what’s the lesson here? Don’t be a fucking idiot and don’t rape.
If you are a fucking idiot, don’t post your idiot views where other people can see them. Still don’t rape.